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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Where shall I go? To the left, where nothing's right? Or to the right, where nothing's left?

Maybe if I was more like you, this wouldn't have been big to me.
And maybe if I was more like you, I wouldn't be hurting. But then
again, if I was more like you, I would never know how to love.
Give me a sign and let me know we're through, if you don't love me like I love you. But if you cry at night the way I do, I know that somebody's lying.
At the end of the day, you're the one that pushed me way.
Not the other way around. So don't act like this is my fault.
You have a choice to make and you made the wrong one.
That's something you've got to learn to live with. I'm done saving you.

You know what I think hurts the most?
The feeling of being replaced.
It’s like no matter what you did,
it wasn’t enough. And no matter what you
do to try and capture their heart again,
doesn’t seem to work. And you’re suddenly
left thinking that you’ll never be enough.
And a sudden sadness captures your heart
that never really leaves.

Just once more can we pretend that everything is okay and that we are all happy? Breathe hope in me. I need you. I try so hard to make this work in my life. I still believe in you.

Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame.
Maybe it's you and you're sick need to give love and take
it away. And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors
who don't understand. And I'll look back and regret how I
ignored when they said run as fast as you can.

I suddenly realized it. The way to get over you isn’t by hooking up with some random guy, or pretending like we didn’t happen. You and I loved each other, and then you broke my heart. I’ve been doing everything possible not to face that fact. I’m gonna kiss somebody someday, and when I do, it’ll be for me. Goodbye, Chuck. I’m going home. - Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl
When you see me now, I hope you're sorry and
I hope you regret how you hurt me.
I hope you see me with someone else and wish
it was you. I hope you regret all you've done,
and wish you could take it all back.

Just pretend that he never broke you down, and maybe that smile will come back to your lips. When someone says his name, block it out so your heart doesn't skip two beats. Erase his memory from your past if you ever want to feel alive again.

I’m shutting my doors and putting my walls back up.
I’m closing my curtains and removing the welcome mat.
I’m blocking everything out again, because it’s so much easier than feeling something.

The most heartbreaking part of a breakup is that moment
when you realize that all the dreams you had,
all those visions you had being with this person disappears.
everything after that moment is moving on.

You don't care, and I finally understand that. But I'm never going to understand how you could drop me so fast, and I guess I'll never know. You owe me a thousand explanations but you'll never take the time to explain a thing to me.
You are going to lose people in your life. And I realize that no matter how much time you spent with them, or how much you appreciated them and told them so, it will never seem like it was enough
Missing someone isn't that much of a choice, you can miss them when you're asleep, and you can miss them when you're awake. But the worst way to miss someone is when that person's right next to you, when you're sitting next to them watching them, talking to them and realizing things have changed, wondering why and how they've become someone totally different in such a short amount of time
And now we hardly talk, but you had so much to say, those night where there was skin on skin, and I could feel your pulse. Considering I thought it meant a little more than this, I guess it’s mostly you I’m starting to miss.

I needed
The worst feeling isn't being lonely, but being forgotten by someone you could never forget, to look back and see how things used to be, knowing it will never be the same, and realizing it doesn't matter to him at all because he doesn't miss a thing.
It may seem like the hardest thing to do
   but you have to forget the person who
   forgot about you.
Now I understand why some people get themselves drunk. It's not because they just want to get wasted but because they want to escape each killing moment they spent every fucking night thinking about what's happening with their damn life. Of course they don't forget their problems - at least they don't spend the night crying themselves to sleep.
I know you're probably not worth the wait,
    but I can't explain what I'm going through inside.
    I would turn away the world just to have you
    here with me tonight.
I needed to know that I meant something, anything to you.
But what I got was nothing, absolutely nothing. And it’s funny
the things you realize when someone walks away. At first you feel
as though it’s your fault. Feeling like nothing, so close to
falling apart. And then, in time, you come to the realization that
you did nothing wrong. That it’s his loss, that you are so much
better without that one boy who didn’t ever care. You live and
you learn, that’s how it is.

I wish there was some way to make you know how much you hurt me. I hope you’re sorry, but if not, I hope one day you realize what you did to me.

Nothing is certain anymore. I don't know what in the world is the right thing to do, and so I'm stuck here in a place I don't want to be. I don't want to sit back and watch you be fine without me. I don't want to cry and carry on like I have been doing for the past week. I just want not to want you anymore. I want to, hell I need to, just move on.

It's okay, honestly. I'll move on from this. When people walk out of your life all the time you get kinda used to it. Getting over it becomes a routine. I can tell you exactly how long it will be until the tears arrive, or how many nights I'll lay awake wondering what I did wrong. And even though I know it's going to hurts like hell I also know I'll make it out alive

After all that’s said and done, I still think you’re amazing.
I still cherish every moment I ever spent with you and every smile you brought to my face.
I’ll forever be thankful that someone like you was brought into my life,
even if it had to be taken away too soon.
See, you were my miracle; you were my fairytale I got to live.

the truth is that i'm afraid to be your friend because i'm always going to want more. but then i got to thinking that i'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all

It’s easiest when I don't see him, I won't deny that.
But I just want to be able to see him without it hurting.
I don't want him out of my life forever.
I don't want to forget about him.
I don't want him to forget me. I really, really don't.

it's hard to forget someone,
who gave you so much to remember.

Can we put the past behind us? Tonight I'm gonna fight for you. Just give me one last chance to make it right.
It's been a month since we've actually had a real conversation. It's been weeks since you last called. It's been days since I've seen your face. What we had seems like it's been forgotten & replaced. It seems like it was a one time deal, like I only had one chance with you, and that once chance has been screwed up. I didn't mean to.. I let you go, I'll admit that. But I thought you'd care enough to come back. You always made me smile, but a smile isn't forever.

Don’t act like I didn’t fight for you. I did. Hard and for a long time. So please forgive me, if now that we’re over I’m exhausted.

I've spent so much time trying to fix your life that I forgot about mine. This time I'm putting my foot straight through the floor. You won't be walking through any of my doors anymore. So tell me what's so wrong with me that you could leave so easily? You threw this all away for the chance to leave me.

I have never understood the reasoning for someone to "move on" from a relationship. It's not like you are really going to "move on", you are just trying to tell your heart to stop thinking about that person every second of every minute of everyday until it finally becomes a routine and you don't notice it anymore. That is, until you see that person again, with someone who isn't you, and then you remind yourself again.

Maybe I wasn’t asking you to love me, maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long I’ve been hurt and for so long you’ve ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe, I don’t care. I’ve been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that you’ve been waiting too, and you haven’t and maybe you never will or maybe you’re afraid to. But it all hurts the same, and in the end, I’m the one that’s left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I’m still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I’ve loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will.

feelings just changed. I had been waiting for you to realize you
couldn't go another day without me. I had played out every excuse
you could of had for putting all that time between us. Missing
you had become second nature to me. And somewhere in the last year,
when I never got that phone call, and you never showed up at my
window, and we never ran into each other,
I just stopped feeling like I needed you so much.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

what's the bet you've already forgotten about me, seeing as you let go so easily

There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don't feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can't seem to connect to anyone or anything.

I keep telling myself that it`s going to be okay,
that we will talk, that we will be friends
I`m not so great at this whole optimism act,
cause I`m still crying myself to sleep every night.
She could let go instantly...
If she wanted to.
That's the catch -
Not a single part of her wants to give up,
so she can't.
[©apatheticaspirations]
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
There's just silence...There's just silence. I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience, and grace, and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that really sucks.
Every day we ignore how truly broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it's all going to be okay. But it's not going to be okay. And once you know that, there's no going back. There's no magic in the world...at least today there isn't.
I hate being in this position. I’m forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You’re the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. I know that I’m better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let go.

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time, but I'm too young to worry. A melody, a memory, or just one picture. Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost. It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over.
Stop trying to understand how she feels. Chances are you’ll never understand how much she truly loves you. How everything she does is for you. How every night she lies in bed thinking of only you. Because, you’ll never understand, because you honestly don’t care
I made a list of wrong and rights tonight, you’re number one on both sides. This distance may not bother you, but it’s killing me inside. Could you let me know that things are okay? Your thoughts seem a million miles away.

Contrary to what the cynics say,
distance is not for the fearful.
It's for the bold.
It's for those willing to spend a lot of time alone
in exchange for a little time with the one they love.
It's for those who know a good thing when they see it,
even if they don't see it nearly enough.
Excuse the wall I put it up from time to time. A silver shade, and the design is all mine. It's just a maze that everyday I seem to be stuck in. It never seems to fade away but I pray for the day it ends. I am not perfect and I don't claim to be, and if that's what you wanted well then I'm so sorry.
And you asked me if he as worth it, if this was worth it. I said, the thing is, the happiness that I feel when I'm with him is unlike any happiness I have ever experienced. But the sadness that consumes me during the long periods the happiness is gone is unlike any sadness I've ever had, too. It is bottomless that makes me feel hopeless and sad and ugly. And I can't decide which one is more affecting. Can I live without the happiness, can I live with the sadness? I don't know, I don't know anything anymore.
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly
Obstacles are put in our way to see
if what we want is really worth fighting for
I'd trade everything to have you here. I'd give up everything for the feeling I feel when I'm with you. If I can't feel it again, then I don't know what I'd do. Your scent, the feel of your skin against mine, the soft kisses on these cool fall nights. This is what I waited my whole life for. And I'm going to spend my entire life searching for a moment where I feel it again. And this time, when I find it, I'll never let it get away from me. I will hold him in my arms and take in everything he is. I will feel in love and have a smile that no one else can replace.
There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you. To watch the distance between your two bodies expand until there is nothing left but empty space and silence.
and there was happiness in life beyond the sorrow and the pain
but how they ever found it i cannot explain
i guess time has a way of making everything alright
it's just there is not enough of it
and so we drink and we sing and we celebrate
this lie and hope that it will last

I wish I could do better by you 'cause that's what you deserve. You sacrifice so much of your whole life in order for this to work. While I'm off chasin' my own dreams, sailing around the world, please know I'm yours to keep, my beautiful girl.
Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I talked to you the other day, looks like you made your escape.
You put us behind, no matter how I try, I can't do the same.

When he was with you, he was really with you.
He looked you straight in the eye and listened
as if you were the only person in the world.

If you're convinced that you're not good
enough, you'll have a difficult time accepting
someone into your life who thinks you are.
we can't even look at each other. i turn away from you
because i don't want you to see the hurt in my eyes and
you turn away from me because you don't want me to see
that you still care. i know you do. You have to. we never
wanted to leave each other. we just had to. We had to.
i'm not going anywhere. this is it for me.
You're it for me. I can't pretend to feel
any less than i do. I'm sorry, i just can't.
time doesn't heal you when
you're not ready to move on.

There's only so much you can do before you stop and realize it's over. The problem we have is we hate giving up. It's a sign of weakness and nobody likes to be weak, but sometimes giving up will show that you have the strength to move on. It's letting go of something when you know it's near the end.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

i fell in love, in love with you suddenly

& i start to smile as i reminisce our first kiss
the weather was pretty much just like this
the days were cold & the nights were long
but it was okay 'cause i had you in my arms
so when it's cold outside, i find you on my mind
& when the rain starts to pour, i miss you a little more
sweater weather, babe, reminds me of you
it's a funny feeling i get around this time of year
as it slowly gets colder, i start to wish you were here
& the smell of hot chocolate slightly makes it worse
& thinking of you just makes me want to reverse
time to go back when the days were cold & the nights were long
& it was okay 'cause i had you in my arms
This new season I am starting over, and that means forgetting everything about you, so this is goodbye. I'm not answering the phone tonight. I won't let you use me anymore. I won't let you string me along anymore.
i really hope that this works out.
i've never had more faith in anyone.
i've never had more hope in anything.
& i'm telling myself; please don’t ruin that.
I want you to believe that this isn't your fault. i want you to know that it was all me. i'm not ready for someone like you. i'm not ready to accept my flaws because i know you love me regardless of them and that scares the hell out of me
Today's the day I pray that we make it through. Make it through the fall, make it through it all. And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you. I don't wanna talk about it, and I don't wanna conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you. I don't wanna talk about it, cause I'm in love with you. You're the only one I'd be with til the end. When I come undone, you bring me back again. Back under the stars, back into your arms
When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them.

Here in these deep city lights a girl could get lost tonight. And I'm finding every reason to be gone, there's nothing here to hold on to. Could I hold you?
When I think of our future, I hope our child is strong like me, and beautiful like you. Yes, I am a fighter. I mean, I fought through tooth and nail just to have you become the love of my life. I've fought through battles that nobody else knows about, like the time you ran off to the war. I know that you were tough, but fuck, imagine how I felt. I mean, I would never want the love of my life to get shot or something. No, that would be truly devistating. I want our child to be a fighter, though, it would be even more amazing if it had your smile. The one that lights up an entire room.
©hippiegraphicsandquotes
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

What should I do about the wild and the tame? The wild heart that wants to be free, and the tame heart that wants to come home. I want to be held. I don’t want you to come too close. I want you to scoop me up and bring me home at nights. I don’t want to tell you where I am. I want to keep a place among the rocks where no one can find me. I want to be with you.
Don't know if it was you or me, different roads or different dreams. All I know is someone said goodbye. Maybe we weren't ready yet, to let go of our innocence. Guess we'll never know the reason why. But broken hearts, tears and mistakes all vanish like summer rain. And when I close my eyes, I see your face.
I don't know what i'm looking for, i don't know what to believe in. The sunset brings confusion or its just another thing to hide behind? Throw on a smile, if you want to be , you'll be strong. You can be anything you want, girl, you know that. Don't you? One day i promise it wont burn when you close your eyes, each ghost will fade and i swear you'll get a different kind of high. You won't have to slide that blade across your skin anymore, draw out those scarlet lines - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Each silent move is a gift and a curse. Knowing better isn't the same as knowing how to stop. So one more time i'll take control only to loose myself. I don't know me anymore, and that means nobody does.
I'm not going to spend my life chasing people. You want to leave? Fine then, go ahead. Because I'm done with chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I've learned love is hard and life isn't always what you want it to be.
he catches her eye knowing he’d be the guy with whom she’d make a mistake and not worry about whose heart it breaks. before she knows it she’s back in a place she knows all too well. without thinking of her boyfriend she thinks to herself. lights turned low. ready? Go.
I had a pocket full of dreams, but I gave them all to you. now I
think I want them back. So can you tell me if I’m crazy or confused?
Don’t ever change the way you are, I’ve never loved anyone more.
I guess I should have said something, anything. I mean, for a girl who wants to be a writer.. it suddenly seemed like no words had ever been written
I close my eyes, thinking that there is nothing like an embrace after absence, nothing like fitting my face into the curve of his shoulder and filling my lungs with the scent of him.
All I want is a place to call my own and mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone.
they're as drunk on love as you can get. getting high on lust and cigarettes,
living life with no regrets. at least they're gonna try to fly
If I could tell you one thing, then I'd tell you everything. Probably say that you've been on my mind since we held hands out in the rain, smoking cigarettes to play off all the butterflies I had inside. And now I think that you should know, that you've got everything that I've wanted for so damn long.
I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I can’t remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world’s still there. Do I believe the world’s still there? Is it still out there? Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I’m no different.
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Have you ever been struck by the feeling that something is wrong? Nothing in particular, mind you. Nothing that you can quite put your finger on. Just an overwhelming sense that things in your universe have, well, shifted. And even if the answer is right there, staring you straight in the eye, somehow, you still don’t see it.
I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we're wrong for each other, wondering whether we've got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize i've been thinking about him for 23 hours and I come back to him, there's something about him I can't stay away from. Something that makes me want to love him.
Snow falls on the city,
White on white
It's the color of hope
On an unforgiving night
If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that count down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a bunch of colored wires and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no the red one, then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?
Today is enough. You don't need forever and always. You don't need promises of days that never come. Today is enough, you don't need the words that cannot possibly be true. Nothing is forever. Nothing lasts for always. Today should always be enough.
Don’t believe what you tell yourself so late at night. You are your own worst enemy

Sunday, 03 October 2010

boy you know you get me high, won't you take me for a ride? tell me where you wanna go

She's getting to you. You're slowly realizing that you don't like being without her. You're feeling exactly like she did.
I love those kind of nights that turn out unexpectedly good, great, and sometimes just all out amazing just because you didn’t really expect anything to happen at all. If only we could live just like that — with no expectations in mind. It’s possible we’d be much happier, with more memorable moments that would last us a lifetime.
Go ahead darling, take a deep breath. Remember what
it's like to breathe without smoke burning your lungs or
alcohol blurring your vision. You were beautiful before
you let this town get the best of you.
I could follow you to the beginning and relive the start. Then maybe we'll remember to slow down all our favorite parts
i love you but i cant remember why. stars falling from a high forgetten sky
When the streetlights come on and the fireflies flicker,
I am walking her home making plans.
With her shoes in her hands, I am watching her dance,
As the hem of her dress gently kisses the grass.
It suddenly rains on us,
She is laughing and turns up her hands.
This would be a good day to tell you my heart's taken.
This would be a great day for me to let you down.
Have yourself a good day 'cause I won't be the one who's breaking.
Have a happy, great day, I'm done

We can take this as slow or as fast as you want to, as long as we take it somewhere.
I'm telling you, you don't want to fall for me. You don't even wanna be with me. I'd make a terrible girlfriend. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people, I'd forget tto call. I change my mind way too much and I love going out with friends, I can't settle. I've fallen in love and had my heart broken, more than once by the same boy. I lost the pieces so don't bother to try to put them back together, I'd never cheat on you, but I'd make you worry. You don't want to fall for me, but I'm falling for you. And if it's okay with you, I want to change all those things about me, just to be with you.
Kindly unspoken, you show your emotion and silence speaks louder than words. It's lucky I'm clever 'cause if I didn't know better, I'd believe only that which I'd heard.
It's the perfect time of year, somewhere far away from here. I feel fine enough, I guess, considering everything's a mess.
Her eyes were glittering like the eyes of a child when you give a nice surprise, and she laughed with a sudden throaty, tingling way. It is the way a woman laughs for happiness. They never laugh that way just when they are being polite or at a joke. A woman only laughs that way a few times in her life. A woman only laughs that way when something has touched her way down in the very quick of her being and the happiness just wells out as natural as breath and the first jonquils and mountain brooks. When a woman laughs that way it always does something to you.

“I am not the happiest person. In fact, in the battle between joy and misery, I’d say that the latter often seems to prevail. I don’t like this, and every day I refuse, for the eighty millionth time, to put up with another minute of it. But the world does what it does, and I often find it disagreeable. After all these years, I’m kind of resigned to that. But I do have one thing on my side: I have enormous faith. And hope. I am not speaking of the kind you find in church or in the afterlife or in heaven or in the Saint James Bible or in the Hare Krishna’s that we all encounter changing flights in the airports of the world, I am speaking of a simple faith that says that one way or another, no matter how many times I stumble and stub my big toe, somehow life is going to work itself out.”
It's too late to talk to you, and it's too soon to say goodbye. Listen, where ever you may be, you still live inside my mind. Something tells me that you are free again, in a place that feels like home. It's never easy to understand why memories hold our hand but people let go.
summer's taking me to California, but I won’t go until you know that what I say is true. When everything you ever loved has left you, I’ll be there. I’ll be there for you
Nothing can touch us, and nothing can hurt us, and nothing goes wrong anymore.
Singing a song with your feet on the dashboard, the cigarette streaming into the night.
These are the things that I want to remember, I want to remember you by.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world. Life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck
there was a girl i used to know but i haven’t seen her in awhile. she was beautiful, smart, confident, free spirited. she could turn an uneasy silence into a conversation. she could make you smile just like that, and she could even make you cry just like that. she felt like she could change the world, paint it different colors. she could conquer anything. she believed in fairytales, dreams, and love. until that day when he took her love away. her smile faded and turned to tears. and now that the tears have run dry she feels empty, lonely, even though she’s not alone. her pride has faded. her hope seems lost. she doubts herself, no longer feels worth or beautiful. now the silence is her own. her eyes have dulled. her laugh is forever changed. the colors she tries to paint are now dried up and grey. her dreams have disappeared. her fairytale is just a memory that’s long gone all because he took her love away. i miss that girl. i wonder if she’ll ever be the same.
I knew a lot of people who had dreams before. Wanna know what they all had
in common? They kept going even if someone laughed or thought they were
ridiculous. They didn't let anyone get in the way of them.
Why do we have to make such terrible decisions for our whole lives when we are too young to know what we are doing? The big mistakes are hung around your neck and you have to wear them forever.
i like the part of you that isn't afraid to say how you feel. i like the part of you that doesn't care what other people think about you. the part of you that keeps me coming back for more. the part of you that isn't completely predictable, but yet still spontaneous at the same exact moment. i want the part of you that is willing to work things out, no matter how bad things get.

for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm doing something right, because when i look at him, it's there. in everything he does to me, it's there. i don't know what it is, but i know that it is there, and I hope it’s never going to leave.
what if i'm afraid to try something new? what am i supposed to do when i'm afraid that the only outcome will be failure. sometimes i wanna just break free and do whatever i feel like doing at that exact moment and not caring about anyone else but myself. for once i wanna know what it feels like to be truly happy and not have a care in the world.
[never_againx0]

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

our eyes close, the candle burns away. but i know the fire still remains

fuck teenage years. fuck anyone who’s ever stabbed you in the back. fuck all the times that you thought you meant more to someone than you actually did. fuck falling for someone only to have them crush you. fuck teachers and their high expectations of you. fuck parents who think they know what’s best. fuck anyone who’s ever tried to tell you what to do. fuck anything that’s ever come in the way of your happiness. fuck being human, making mistakes, and feeling emotions
If I could, I would do all of this again.
Travel back in time with you to where this all began.
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind.
We could believe that there is something more to find.
i've got this crazy idea; we forget about what everyone else wants for us and decide for ourselves what we want our lives to be.
you know, people are always asking me, "are you okay?" but they're never really expecting the truth. because the reality of the matter is, if i was okay- you wouldn't really have to wonder.
Sometimes things get to me too easily. I guess its just a flaw you acquire when you open your arms to everyone.
the taste of sweet revenge. come closer my friend,
so i can let myself go on you.
believe me, it's not the first time i've wanted to.
i've just been waiting for the right chance,
to hold you still. not hold your hand,
but hold you to the flames and watch you dance.
i’m learning not to sweat the small stuff. this last year has been about finding strength within myself - not looking to others for it.
Everything changes. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. It’s unavoidable; it’s necessary. Clinging to what used-to-be is the farthest thing from healthy. Moving on, adapting, that is the key to surviving the day to day changes that have the tendency to change everything.
I hate how i can’t look back and point out where it changed, but i can look back and remember the times where it was different, and thus be upset that it has changed. i hate how i don’t know why it changed, and that i don’t know what to do to change it back. i hate that it changed and that it may never revert to how it was.
-apatheticaspirations
and above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. those who dont believe in magic will never find it.

And it starts, sometime around midnight.
Or at least that’s when you lose yourself
for a minute or two.
As you stand, under the bar lights.
And the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while.
And the piano’s this melancholy soundtrack to her smile.
And that white dress she’s wearing
you haven’t seen her for a while
You can’t save the damsel if she loves her distress
Maybe if I was more like you, this wouldn't have been big to me.
And maybe if I was more like you, I wouldn't be hurting. But then
again, if I was more like you, I would never know how to love.

The days are cold living without you, the nights are long. I'm growing older, I miss the days of old. Thinkin' about you. You may be gone, but you're never over.
How do you write about feathers? The magic of dreamcatchers? The art of dreaming?
How do you write about nightmares that haunt you? Ghosts from your past? Clouds in the sky?
The swirls of smoke from a cigarette? The blood that rushes thought you? Your heart beating?
I want to tell you about my demons. The thoughts that lurk in the back of my mind.
The things I see in the shadows. My innermost wishes.
My vices , my faults. Everything that makes me who I am.
It’s four in the morning and I’m turning in my bed,
I wish I had a dream or a nightmare in my head.
So I drop my imagination and get some sleeping done.
Now it’s five in the morning and I’m wishing it was one.
It’s these cards, and the movies and the pop songs, they’re to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything
There is something between us but it's not real. It's the past. It's a moment in time where we both were once. A moment that meant a lot to us then, a time we've both often wished we could revisit, but I think maybe that's only because our lives now aren't going the way we want them to, not because we still have feelings for each other.
We can’t help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it’s the thrill of trading the
familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is, once you’ve crossed it’s
almost impossible to go back..

i pretend to be strong so maybe one day i will wake up and realize i am okay without you. that you aren’t the thunder or the blazing sun in August. you aren’t butterflies or a certain ten thousand songs or dark circles under sad eyes. and what i am really hoping you aren’t is spinning dizzying dances in moonlight and that special taste of freedom.
You beg and plead, but no one here can save you. Why would they try when they can't quite save themselves?
He's the one that walked out of my life, not the other way around. If he wants back in, he needs to show me that he won't walk out again.
These words scribbled on this paper, will they heal a broken heart? And that girl you look at in the mirror, how long until she falls apart? And those scars that are slowly healing, will they ever open again? And those lies she keeps revealing, her soul will never fully mend. @pleaselovemeee_x3
I could use another cigarette but don’t worry daddy, I’m not addicted yet. One too many drinks tonight and I miss you like you were mine. It never took too much to keep me satisfied but all the bullshit you feed, you miss me, you need me, and this hungry heart will not subside. He’s taken and he’s leaving but I keep on believing he’ll come around soon.